The Twenties

I realize that I usually blog about food and delicious recipes, but after reading my sister's Young Life work crew application, I felt inspired to express my thoughts through writing. There are a few things in life that get me really excited and those are clean sheets, a fresh pack of gum, wedding cake, and a good playlist. But some things that do not get me excited are alarm clocks, parking tickets, dry cupcakes, and last but not least...the twenties.

All of my life I feel like I have been preparing for the day that I will live on my own, pay my own bills, and have my "dream job." Why did I go to high school? To prepare for college. And why did I go to college? So that I can get a job. And what's next? Well that is what I have come to find rather difficult in figuring out. The twenties are strange and no one really prepares you for the awkward middle stage after college and before marriage. Growing up you always hear about college...the best four years of your life, a time to be independent, a chance to discover what you want to do with your life. The whole time you attend college you are preparing for the day that you will graduate, move off to a big city, and start working somewhere you enjoy every single day of your life. You dream about this eutopia and fantasize about what type of life you will live the day you step foot off your college campus. Well all this preparing doesn't actually prepare you for the "real world." People warned me saying that "the transition is hard," but regardless of how many times I heard this or how many people hinted around about the fact that life wasn't going to be easy after graduation, nothing could have truly prepared me for this first year out of college. The thing that is interesting is that everyone feels the exact same way. I have talked to boys, girls, married people, single people, shy people, loud people, doctors, lawyers, and preachers and everyone agrees that this stage of life is not easy. Our whole lives we have had "ends in sight." Even though middle school is kind if crappy, you know that high school is only four years away. Then in high school you work hard because you know you only have four years until you get to college, and then in college you know that in 4 (or 5...or 6) years you will graduate and get a job, but then what? There is no "end in sight" in this stage of life. It is a time of complete unknown and instability. The one thing that has stuck out to me most is that people have picked certain careers and taken certain jobs. A lot of times they majored in a certain area and ended up getting a job in that particular field, but countless times I have talked with people in their twenties who after getting that first job decided that maybe after all this wasn't what they wanted to do with their life. Maybe that "dream job" wasn't so dreamy once they started working. But countless times I have also heard from these same people that even though they knew they hadn't landed their life calling, they still had yet to figure out exactly what they were supposed to be doing. I find myself in this category as well. I often wonder if I am doing "God's will," and I question whether I am in the right  city, state, and sometimes country. Despite all of this confusion and instability, I think God created the twenties exactly like this on purpose. When you are young you depend on your parents. When you're in college you depend on your friends and roommates. When you are older everyone starts depending on you. But in your twenties you have no one to depend on except God. The only stable thing you have to hold on to is the Lord Himself. It is a time where faith has to kick in and trust has to form. Like I said, it is a strange time in life, but also one that I wouldn't trade for anything. There have been lots of lonely and anxious times this past year. Times where I have had to completely start over, make new friends, and enter into unknown territory. It has been scary and sometimes discouraging, but I have learned so much about God. I have learned that God is in control of every detail of my life. He has placed me in this city, even though a lot of times I hate it and wish I were somewhere else. He has placed me in my job, even though it's it often thankless and disgusting. He has placed me with my roommates, even though I didn't even know them 8 months ago. He has placed me at my church, even though a lot of times I go alone. See, despite my situation or how I feel, God is still in control. In Matthew 15 Jesus appears to his disciples walking on water. Peter sees him and wants to go to him. Jesus calls him. Peter steps out onto the water with complete faith. He begins to walk on the water, and he's doing pretty good, but then the winds pick up and a storm comes. Peter gets scared and starts to loose his faith. He begins to sink, but Jesus goes to him and lifts him out of the water and sets him back on dry ground. Peter feared the storm...but God controls even the storm. So when the twenties start really getting hard remember that God controls even the tough times, but He doesn't let us sink all the way to the bottom. He will eventually reach down, pick us up, and put us back on dry ground, and when he does our faith will be stronger, our beliefs will be confirmed, and our trust will not be shaken.

Hold tight fellow twenty-year-old. Enjoy this stage of unknown and trust the One who created it.

Turtle Pumpkin Pie

My family makes this every year and LOVES the combination of pumpkin, caramel, and coolwhip. Plus, its' not quite as filling as a true pumpkin pie. 

1/4 cup plus 2 Tbsp. caramel (found in jar)

1   Graham cracker pie crust (6 oz.)

1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp. chopped Pecans, divided

2 pkg.  (3.4 oz. each) Vanilla Flavor Instant Pudding

1 cup cold milk

1 cup  canned pumpkin

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp.  ground nutmeg

1 tub (8 oz.) cool whip
1. Pour 1/4 c. of caramel toping into empty pie crust.2. Sprinkle with 1/2 c. chopped pecans. 3. Combine pudding, milk, pumpkin, cinnamon,    nutmeg, and 1 1/2 c. of cool whip. 4. Pour mixture pie crust. Cover with remaining cool whip and make your own decoration with the caramel topping. *Must be kept refrigerated!

Roasted Rosemary Chickpeas

This recipe comes from my wonderful roommate Lexi (a soon to be bride working on her LGN diet). These are great to eat as a snack or compliment with some grilled salmon or chicken. 

1. One can of chickpeas (drained)

2. 1/2 c. lemon juice

3. 2 tbsp. olive oil

4. 1 tbsp rosemary

*Marinate peas overnight in the refridgerator for atleast 1 hr.

Bake at 350 for 20 minutes. They will feel slightly crisp and begin to brown on the edges when cooked completly through. 

Butternut Squash and Sweet Potato Salad

I buy the already diced butternut squash and sweet potatoes, but if you can't find these you can use a whole sweet potato cut up into small squares and likewise with the butternut.

1. Coat about 1 c. of sweet potatoes and 1 c. of butternut squash (both diced into squares) with olive oil spray (0 calories). Place on a baking sheet covered with aluminum foil.
2. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar and plain cinnamon.
3. Bake on 400 degrees for 23 minutes or until a fork can be inserted with no resistance.
4. Mix in with a cup or  two of spinach leaves.
5. Add diced honey roasted almonds, some craisins, and a a little grilled chicken that can be cooked on a    George Forman grill.
6. Top with goat cheese and balsalmic vinagerette

Voila! Healthy yet so good.

Pumpkin Whoopie Pies

My roommate told me these looked like "little pumpkin terds." Then she tried one. Her world was rocked. These little guys are good!

• 1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, 1 stick melted, 1/2 stick softened
• 1 cup packed light brown sugar
• 2 large eggs, at room temperature, lightly beaten
• 1 cup canned pure pumpkin puree
• 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon plus 2 pinches salt
• 1-2/3 cups flour
• 4 ounces cream cheese (1/3 less fat)
• 1 cup confectioners' sugar
• 2 tablespoons maple syrup
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• 1. Preheat oven to 350 and line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
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• 2. Whisk together melted stick of butter and brown sugar until smooth. Whisk in eggs, pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, vanilla, baking powder, baking soda, salt. Then, fold in the flour 1/2 c. at a time. 
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• 3. Use a tablespoon and drop heaping mounds of dough onto cookie sheets. Smooth out so they appear in little flat rounded balls. Thiner the better. Too thick, they turn out too big because they expand when cooked. 
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• 4. For the middle frosting: Cream the softened butter and cream cheese. Add in powdered sugar a little bit at a time. Add tablespoon of cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice or both! It just gives a little extra flavor. Add in maple syrup and mix all together until smooth and thick. 
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• 5. Wait until cookies are cooled. Then, pile a heaping amount of frosting on the flat side of one cookie. Take another cookie and smoosh on top.
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• 6. Enjoy! But keep refridgerated if not serving
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• *Tip: These can be frozen for up to three days. 

Food For Thought

Some cook for their families, others cook for fun, and most cook out of necessity. We've all got to eat, right? But I cook for other reasons. We live in a stressful, crazy busy world. We are surrounded by timelines, meetings, obligations, and requirements. So how do we escape this part of life? How do we cope with the stresses the world throws at us? Some exercise. Some do yoga. Some disconnect from their iPhone for a while, but I bake. There is nothing in the world that makes me feel more at ease than baking a tray full of homemade cookies, watching them expand into complete yumminess, and then enjoying the satisfaction that comes from watching others endulge in one of my creations. It's a time where I am required to focus completely on the task at hand. If I step away for even a minute or get my thoughts in another place, my project could be ruined in an instant. 


Cooking also reminds me of how much we long for something to fill us up. We eat because we are hungry, and we are satisfied once our bellies are full. As humans we all crave to be filled. We all hunger for something more. The Lord says, "Taste and see that I am good. Blessed is the man that takes refuge in me." The Bible is full of passages that talk about food. Jesus says in John 6:33, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never be hungry." Jesus and his disciples had a last supper where they gathered around a table of food to prepare for what would be the most important day in all of history. We take communion at church where we "eat in remembrance of him." Jesus fed five thousand with a loaf of bread and a few fish. He turned water into wine. Eve even ate from a tree evil! Food is all throughout the Bible, so when I cook, I am reminded of my need for a savior and my bodies requirement for the food that lasts and never leaves me hungry. 

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 

   for they will be filled." 

Matthew 5:6

"He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD."

Deuteronomy 8:3 

Some say that Atlanta is “too big." "It is hard to find people to hang out with and the commute across town is atrocious. And did I mention the traffic?" Well, I have been here for almost a month now and I can honestly say that these “rumors” about Atlanta are false. Tonight we all met at JCT Kitchen for some live music and  sweet fellowship while overlooking the Atlanta skyline. Despite the heat, it was a great night. Very relaxing, new, and different. But I did discover that no matter where people live in Atlanta, no matter how far the drive, how terrible the traffic, or how much gas costs, if a location is decided upon, people will show up. Tonight we had two people who commuted all the way from Peachtree City, which is at least a 45-minute drive outside of the city. Then, we had a girl from Dekalb, who decided to bum off someone’s couch for the night. Other’s lived around Georgia Tech, Buckhead, Vinings, and Howell Mill. It was incredible to see how many awesome people congregated to hang out for the evening despite their home location.  I also love that no matter how many times we meet for dinner we can always try a new restaurant. The options are endless and every place provides a different experience. Different genres, different prices, different atmospheres. Growing up in a family who circled around a dinner table at a great restaurant in order to grow closer and enjoy one another, the Atlanta eating experience is right up my alley.

Then there is the Atlanta surroundings. Today I woke up in a lovely mansion located in Buckhead, filled with old oak trees, hydrangeas, and gated houses (I know...this is not real life!). Then, I headed over north of the city to float the Chattahoochie River, which was filled with lovely murky water that was somewhere around 50 degrees. After, I entered downtown where we ate a very modern urban pizza place and then headed west to enjoy the classy environment of JCT Kitchen. Atlanta has it all. If you want ritzy, it’s right here. Classy? Yep. Hipster? Absolutely. Country? Right down the road. I love a city where you can be surrounded by skyscrapers but then drive 15 minutes and be engulfed in beautiful country land.

Lastly, the people. Atlanta people are so incredibly nice and more than anything, generous. I live with a family who has opened up their home, for free, to let me live. I have an incredible pool in the backyard, a maid who cleans my room once a week, and I get the luxury of paying for not one penny all summer. All because a family felt the need to help out some new graduate who could not afford her own place. Then about ten minutes down the road another family with 5 children, two dogs, and a house on the market is currently housing three college students. My nannying job pays way more than I deserve and they let me eat their food, stay at their house, and enjoy their country club membership. Atlanta people are generous. Not to mention the people I have met are some of the nicest most welcoming people I have even encountered. They are constantly inviting and including me in their plans. They are open to all different types of people and they love others so well. Even at the bar on Friday night, a girl who had probably had one two many vodka tonics came up to me and asked if I needed friends since I was new in town. Of course I said yes, seeing as I could probably count the number of people I know in this city on one hand. She immediately told me to take out my phone so she could store her phone number and offered to hangout with me whenever I felt lonely. Even a drunk girl at a sktetchy bar was so incredibly sincere and compassionate. Atlanta is an awesome city, but the people are the reason I have grown to love it even more.

So far I have learned a lot. I have learned to ALWAYS trust my GPS. It usually knows more than me! I have learned the fun places to hang out, and that the weekends are a time to not be so stingy with my pay checks and just enjoy myself because that is the only time people don’t have to work. I have learned how to invite myself to places in order to make friends, and despite the awkwardness it actually has gotten me pretty far. But more than anything I have learned how to be content wherever God has me. I could sit around and wonder if this is really where God wants me to end up for the next little bit. I could bite my nails and wring my hands trying to figure out if there is actually a job waiting for me at the children’s hospital, but honestly that gets me no where. No matter where I go, where I end up, or where God decides to lead me, I have learned to be content and make the most out of every experience. 

New circumstances provide two options. You can either look at your situation negatively and count down the days until it ends, or you can trust the reasons why God has placed you where He has and enjoy it to its maximum potential. Life is full of disappointments and hard times, and no, college cannot be re-created, but this phase of life is fun. It is fun to experience a new place with new people and new adventures. I am excited to look back and see the places God decides to take me. 

Will I end up in Atlanta after this summer? Only God knows, but wherever He leads me, I will trust that He knows what He is doing. 

Welcome Back

Long time no blog. Wow, how I have missed it so! Due to the hardest semester of my life I have had to take a short leave of absence, but Lindz-Dawg is BIA (back in action). I have been thinking about what would be entertaining to write about and the first thing that came to mind was an encounter I had with a patient my very first day of working at the hospital. It is quite humorous so feel free to laugh at me. Enjoy!

The first day of nursing school clinicals usually comprises a whirlwind of emotions. I remember feeling excited about being in a hospital, super HOT in my all white nursing uniform and white clogs, but overall scared to death that I would do something wrong. I tried to be on my best behavior, but at the same time I also tried to act like I wasn’t nervous and that I knew exactly what I was doing. Bad idea. The first patient I was assigned was an elderly man who was on so much pain medication that he could hardly tell what gender I assumed. I was assigned to a nurse who asked me to do a simple task…help him take a shower. A shower…I had this! Easy, peasy.  She asked, “Do you need any help? Or do you know what you’re doing?”

Do I know what I’m doing? The real question is, who couldn’t know how to help someone take a shower?! I answered with all the confidence in the world, “Absolutely.”

As she left the room, reality began to set in. I saw at least two IV lines going into his left arm, blood pressure cuffs hooked up on the other, compression devices on both legs, and did I mention that I didn’t even know how to lower the side rails? But nevertheless, this was a freaking shower! How hard could this be? I remember the nurse telling me that he needed a chair to sit in while he showered because he couldn’t stand on his own, so I asked the barely conscious man what chair he usually used in the shower. He mumbled something, so I looked around the room, spotted a chair, and pointed, “Did you mean this one?” He mumbled something again, which I took to be a “yes.” I grabbed the chair and placed it in the shower all ready for him, but due to the many questions running through my head and the overwhelming feelings that I had no clue how to get this man in the shower, I failed to notice that the chair I thought would suffice was actually a desk chair with leather and nice cushioning. I decided to stall and go ahead and warm up the shower for him while I thought about my plan of action, so I reached in and turned the knob. Immediatley, before I could even think to move, I was covered in water in my all white uniform (thank goodness I wore the waterproof clogs that day!).  The shower head was only half-way screwed on. After about a full 30 seconds of fiddling with the knob, I heard a voice behind me. 

“Umm, excuse me ma’am. What are you doing? First of all, you need to get that nice chair out of the shower and second of all, why are you covered in water?” 

While trying to hold back my laughter I looked up, and said, “I think you might be better at this.”

Lessons learned:

1.) Always ask questions. Never just assume.

2.) You can’t always be a bad-A. (I know, it’s a hard truth.)

3.) Never put a nice desk chair in the shower.

4.) When your patient is doped up on pain medication, don’t believe or assume anything he or she says.

I will never forget that day.

Spontaneity

Some of my favorite memories are from times when I least expected it. For instance, this past weekend nearly everyone from Auburn headed either home, to the beach, or to a wedding. Our normal summer crew (Carra, Kadie, etc.) hit the road, so I was expecting a very chill weekend full of sleeping, reading a good book, shopping online with Sarah Jane, and possibly catching up on some of my missed TV shows. Little did I know that this weekend I would be in for a treat. Saturday morning rolled around, and after a delicious meal at the Chicken Salad Chik (a request made by the boys), Joe, the master of all things spontaneous, mentioned that we take a trip to the lake. Within 30 minutes we were in the car, bags packed, shades on, and ready for what would end up being one of the funnest spontaneous trips I have ever been on. After riding someone else's jet skis, swimming in someone else's pool (they weren't home...why not?), and grilling kabobs and peaches on someone else's grill, we decided to swim across the lake and jump on someone else's water trampoline. None of this was planned, and all of this was completely 100% spontaneous. So folks, lessons learned:

1.) Grilled peaches with brown sugar and cinnammon are a million times better with a melted stick of butter.

2.) If you ever have the idea of swimming across a lake to a water trampoline, stop and rethink this idea. Water tramps are never worth the trouble. I mean come one, they barely even bounce. 

3.)  If you spend a weekend with Joe Knight you are guaranteed to eat some pretty dang good food. 

4.) Be spontaneous. You never know what kind of weekend you could end up with.

Get Yo Text On

Text messaging has really messed up the whole dating thing. No longer is a guy expected to call a girl to talk or intentionally flirt with a girl in public places. Text messaging solves all the problems. No nervous feelings or awkward moments of silence exist when texting. You never say anything stupid because you have time to think and respond extra cleverly. They can't see your sweaty palms, food in your teeth, or unzipped fly. You can all the sudden create this person you have always wanted to be because it's a text message and not a real conversation. I have even seen cases where the guy and girl are in the same room full of people "getting their text on" literally sitting within ten feet of each other. This is what text messaging has come to.

I was talking to a guy the other night who I guess just really needed someone to talk to. He voluntarily told me about his current girl problem and came to me seeking advice. Little did he know at the time, but this guy taught me a lot. He unconsciously answered many questions that I have had for a while and shined light on some areas I did not even know existed. So he was telling me how he had been talking/texting this girl for the past few months (the middle stage of dating previously known as "talking" has now evolved into "texting"). He said that he could tell she was playing games like all girls apparently do, ya know...blowing up his phone one minute and then playing hard to get the next. So, he had decided to play the games too. He told me that whenever she texted him he would purposely not respond for atleast half the day if not the whole day, and then when he finally did respond, he kept it very short with words such as "yeah," "ok," and "cool." He said that he knew this was probably driving her nuts, and it ended up working because after this very vague text convo, the next couple of days she was texting him anything she could think of trying to redirect his attention her way. He knew all along what he was doing, and his point was to try to keep her hanging on and coming back for more.

Boys, let me tell you, this was a revelation to me. This whole time we thought yall just weren't interested in us. I will admit that this strategy does work. If we text and you don't resond within the hour, our minds are automatically jumping to conclusions. We begin to wonder what you could possibly be doing, who you are with all of the sudden that has captured your attention away from our flirt session via text. We instantly make excuses like oh he probably is just working out or something and left his phone at home, or maybe he is talking to his mom on the other line. Then, we eventually convince ourselves that you must not have gotten our text message. It didn't go through or maybe we accidently pressed the end button instead of the send button. Then...you respond. Halleluia! We jump to see what it says and your ingenius plan worked. We are once again wrapped around your manly little finger.

Boys, props to you. Way to play the game so well, but I will say don't wait too long. If you don't respond within a day, we are probably going to get over you and move on to the next text-flirt session. Use your strategies wisely and don't get too overzealous.

Hint of the day: If you send us a text and we don't respond within half the day, we probs aren't interested in you or we are just interested in someone else. We are never too busy to ignore your text for too long, and if we are busy, we will pretty much drop anything to respond if you are the cute guy we are diggin.

(There are some exceptions to this such as long class hours with mean viscous teachers who would deduct points if you even brought that cellular device to class, or if we were at the lake/beach for the day, a family reunion, laying out forgetting our phone at home, etc. Use your good judgement to apply this insight.)

Lindsey's Man Criteria #2: You must love and be sweet to your momma. There is nothing more attractive than a guy who respects his mom and treats her like a queen because we all know that how you treat your momma is how you will eventually treat your wife!

Coping With Cookies

People deal with stress in many different ways. Some run, others eat everything in sight, some eat nothing at all. People resort to yoga, pilates, or deep breathing exercises. But me on the other hand...I bake. While some go to grab their yoga mats, I go to grab my spatula. If I have had a busy day full of tests or ridiculous patients, I don't even put down my bags before I go turn on the oven to 350. There is something so relaxing, peaceful, and relieving about baking. To think that you start with just some flour and sugar and then only an hour later it turns out to be something absolutely divine. It is almost like an art. It allows me a chance to escape into my own little baking world. I get so involved in the baking process that all of my days worries disappear and I just whisk them all away. Baking is my stress relief.

There are many things I love to bake, but my go to recipe has always been my chocolate chip cookies. They are little golden circles of delicious joy. They are nothing too terribly special, but my family loves them. It could be the enormous amount of chocolate chips I put in each one, or maybe it's the gooeyness of them freshly coming out of the over, but what I really think it has to do with is my secret ingredient. Toffee bits. (well I guess it's not a secret anymore!) In my opinion, toffee bits can turn a normal bland cookie into a fabulous mouth watering delectable cookie. It is what adds the "oohs and ahhs" after each bite, and what I really love is that no one ever knows exactly what that extra kick is. I always get really dramatic comments like, "Lindsey what is in these cookies?!" They can't quite figure it out, but they know there is something extra that they wouldn't normally expect in a chocolate chip cookie. It's such a mystery, and I love it! Try it for yourself. You won't regret it!

2 1/4 c. all purpose flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

2 sticks of unsalted butter

3/4 c. brown sugar

3/4 c. granulated sugar

1 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

2 c. (1 bag) semi sweet choc. chips

1 c. toffee bits

Add flour, salt, and baking soda in a bowl and whisk or fork until well blended. In a seperate bowl add softened butter, brown sugar, granulated sugar, and vanilla. Cream together and then mix, adding eggs one at a time. When all liquid ingredients start to look gooey, add in 1 cup of flour mixture at a time. Continue adding flour mixture into liquid mixture until all mixed together. Add in chocolate chips and toffee bits. Scoop tablespoon sized rounds onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 375 (not 350 or they will be flat!). Bake for approximately 7 minutes or until golden brown. For thicker cookies, add an extra 1/4 cup all purpose flour.

A little lesson from some boys

So, last night we were hanging out and celebrating our friend "Jason's" birthday. While eating some delicious chocolate peanut butter brownies we somehow got into a discusion about pet peeves guys have about girls...or women as I like to call us. In the past I have assumed that guys don't really think that much about relationships. They don't really give a crap what we wear, what we do, or what we say. They just go with it and let the wind take them where it takes them. They aren't picky like we are, they don't over-analyze, and they don't get frustrated about things we do. Well, last night I discovered that this is a common misconception. Ladies, NEWSFLASH, guys do care, they do think about us, they do have preferences, and they do have frustrations that I think we all need to be aware of. Here are a few things I think we women can learn from:

1. Guys don't like possessive friends.

*One guy stated that it was so annoying when his girlfriend would tell him she couldnt hang out with him because her bestie got mad at her for spending too much time with her bf and not with her. "I mean chicks before...boys." Girls, chill out. You will not loose your bestie forever. Let her have fun hanging with her boy, and if she's not hanging with you its because she would rather be with her man. If you become possessive of her time she will only hang out with you due to an obligation she feels she owes to you. It will push her away, and you will end up loosing her if you don't watch your selfish behavior. It is sweet that you want to be with her all the time, but don't get jealous of the boyfriend. She will come to you when she has a problem or when he breaks her heart or when she's had too much boy time. ONLY interfere when you feel the relationship is starting to get somewhat unhealthy, such as they are hanging out 23 of the 24 hours of the day and they have been dating for over 4 months. (I believe in the first 4 months of dating it is normal and natural to want to hang out a lot). Also, if your friend has a boyfriend they have made a decision to spend lots of intentional time with him, so for crying out loud, LET THEM!

2. The Stage 5 Clinger:

*Co-dependency is a turn off and if you continue in your behavior...you will get dumped. Independence according to Michael Nunnally is "sexy." It's ok to do things on your own. Its okay to not know every little detail that your boy is doing, thinking, saying, eating, etc. Don't text him five hundred times a day, and don't post on his fbook wall with little comments every hour just so everyone knows that he is yours. Let him hang with the boys if he wants to. But I will say, if he chooses to hang with the boys every night for a month straight...RED FLAG: he's not into you anymore and a serious convo needs to happen. Also, boys you are not off the hook. You have also been know to many of us ladies to be a needy nutcase. Watch your behavior as well. You don't own all of her time, and she did not commit to marrying you. She commited to dating you. Major difference. A believe a little hard to get sometimes keeps the relationship interesting, spontaneous, and healthily romantic. Self control is key!

3. Guys like when girls act the same way to him no matter what company she is around.

* I will admit that I have been guilty of not following this rule in the past, so I am saying all of this to myself as well. It is common for girls to feel self conscious in their relationship when other people are around. It's almost like the first day of kindergarten. You aren't sure what to do with yourself because you have no idea what people are thinking about you so you decide to resort to strange behavior like playing with the fake plastic kitchen and cooking that waxy piece of fake bacon, looking like you are enjoying yourself, but really you are so terribly uncomfortable on the inside. You just want to act normal and be yourself but your thoughts focusing on others keep you from acting normal. Ladies, take a deep breath when your man is around your friends, your family, or while in a social setting. No one is really thinking that much about you or about yalls relationship. Just be normal. Be the same person you are when yall are on a date. Don't act "too cool" to be flirty with him or show him attention. Guess what honey, don't flatter yourself. The earth does not revolve around you and we aren't judging your every move. In fact, if you took a poll I think 99% of the responses would indicate that you would appear better in the eyes of others if you appeared to not give a crap what people thought about you and your man. You would not only earn respect from his guy friends and earn major bro-friend girlfriend points, but you would also make your BF feel loved. One thing you need to know about boys (and guys correct me if I am wrong) but they need to feel noticed, loved, and appreciated. They need attention and affirmation just as much as we emotional women do. I mean don't go to the extreme and makeout in the middle of skybar or recite him love poems at a party, but it's ok to laugh at his non-funny jokes, grab his hand for a slight second to let him know your glad he's there, or ask him if he wants to leave a tad bit early or stay out just a little longer and go do something just the two of you. Relationships are a two way street. You both have to give. It's not all about the take.

4. Guys don't put exclimation points or smiley faces in text messages, and that doesn't mean they are mad at you.

*My friend Bo told me a story the other day about a girl he was texting who asked him later if he was mad at her. He said no and was quite confused at why she would think that until she said, "Oh, well you didn't use any exclimation points or smiley faces in your text messages, so it sounded like you were mad." Ok, girlfriend whoever you are, come on...get real. Guys text what they want to say. They don't put extra marks in there to emphasize certain words. Don't read, "Yeah. Come over if you want." as wow he must really not want me to come over because first of all he said "yeah" and not "ABSOLUTELY!" and second of all he said "if you want," instead of "PRETTY PLEASE COME!!! :) :) :) In fact, run for your life if he does text you like this. Girls, Bo says don't read into the text messages. Whatever it says is what they mean. Don't emphasize certain words or over-analyze. What it says is what they mean. That's it.

So, this is what I gathered from some convos I have had recently, and yes, I was taking mental notes because these statements came from the mouths of 5 very respectable guys who I feel know what they are talking about. Girls, be yourself and don't try to mold yourself into the perfect girlfriend, but do know that guys do care about how you treat them and your actions. They might act all tough and put together, but they have preferences too!