1. Guys don't like possessive friends.
*One guy stated that it was so annoying when his girlfriend would tell him she couldnt hang out with him because her bestie got mad at her for spending too much time with her bf and not with her. "I mean chicks before...boys." Girls, chill out. You will not loose your bestie forever. Let her have fun hanging with her boy, and if she's not hanging with you its because she would rather be with her man. If you become possessive of her time she will only hang out with you due to an obligation she feels she owes to you. It will push her away, and you will end up loosing her if you don't watch your selfish behavior. It is sweet that you want to be with her all the time, but don't get jealous of the boyfriend. She will come to you when she has a problem or when he breaks her heart or when she's had too much boy time. ONLY interfere when you feel the relationship is starting to get somewhat unhealthy, such as they are hanging out 23 of the 24 hours of the day and they have been dating for over 4 months. (I believe in the first 4 months of dating it is normal and natural to want to hang out a lot). Also, if your friend has a boyfriend they have made a decision to spend lots of intentional time with him, so for crying out loud, LET THEM!
2. The Stage 5 Clinger:
*Co-dependency is a turn off and if you continue in your behavior...you will get dumped. Independence according to Michael Nunnally is "sexy." It's ok to do things on your own. Its okay to not know every little detail that your boy is doing, thinking, saying, eating, etc. Don't text him five hundred times a day, and don't post on his fbook wall with little comments every hour just so everyone knows that he is yours. Let him hang with the boys if he wants to. But I will say, if he chooses to hang with the boys every night for a month straight...RED FLAG: he's not into you anymore and a serious convo needs to happen. Also, boys you are not off the hook. You have also been know to many of us ladies to be a needy nutcase. Watch your behavior as well. You don't own all of her time, and she did not commit to marrying you. She commited to dating you. Major difference. A believe a little hard to get sometimes keeps the relationship interesting, spontaneous, and healthily romantic. Self control is key!
3. Guys like when girls act the same way to him no matter what company she is around.
* I will admit that I have been guilty of not following this rule in the past, so I am saying all of this to myself as well. It is common for girls to feel self conscious in their relationship when other people are around. It's almost like the first day of kindergarten. You aren't sure what to do with yourself because you have no idea what people are thinking about you so you decide to resort to strange behavior like playing with the fake plastic kitchen and cooking that waxy piece of fake bacon, looking like you are enjoying yourself, but really you are so terribly uncomfortable on the inside. You just want to act normal and be yourself but your thoughts focusing on others keep you from acting normal. Ladies, take a deep breath when your man is around your friends, your family, or while in a social setting. No one is really thinking that much about you or about yalls relationship. Just be normal. Be the same person you are when yall are on a date. Don't act "too cool" to be flirty with him or show him attention. Guess what honey, don't flatter yourself. The earth does not revolve around you and we aren't judging your every move. In fact, if you took a poll I think 99% of the responses would indicate that you would appear better in the eyes of others if you appeared to not give a crap what people thought about you and your man. You would not only earn respect from his guy friends and earn major bro-friend girlfriend points, but you would also make your BF feel loved. One thing you need to know about boys (and guys correct me if I am wrong) but they need to feel noticed, loved, and appreciated. They need attention and affirmation just as much as we emotional women do. I mean don't go to the extreme and makeout in the middle of skybar or recite him love poems at a party, but it's ok to laugh at his non-funny jokes, grab his hand for a slight second to let him know your glad he's there, or ask him if he wants to leave a tad bit early or stay out just a little longer and go do something just the two of you. Relationships are a two way street. You both have to give. It's not all about the take.
4. Guys don't put exclimation points or smiley faces in text messages, and that doesn't mean they are mad at you.
*My friend Bo told me a story the other day about a girl he was texting who asked him later if he was mad at her. He said no and was quite confused at why she would think that until she said, "Oh, well you didn't use any exclimation points or smiley faces in your text messages, so it sounded like you were mad." Ok, girlfriend whoever you are, come on...get real. Guys text what they want to say. They don't put extra marks in there to emphasize certain words. Don't read, "Yeah. Come over if you want." as wow he must really not want me to come over because first of all he said "yeah" and not "ABSOLUTELY!" and second of all he said "if you want," instead of "PRETTY PLEASE COME!!! :) :) :) In fact, run for your life if he does text you like this. Girls, Bo says don't read into the text messages. Whatever it says is what they mean. Don't emphasize certain words or over-analyze. What it says is what they mean. That's it.
So, this is what I gathered from some convos I have had recently, and yes, I was taking mental notes because these statements came from the mouths of 5 very respectable guys who I feel know what they are talking about. Girls, be yourself and don't try to mold yourself into the perfect girlfriend, but do know that guys do care about how you treat them and your actions. They might act all tough and put together, but they have preferences too!
